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With The Wind with Dr. Paul – Show 192: Pediatric Perspectives – Motherhood Makeover with Carissa Stanton, M.D.
 
Speaking Times

• Dr. Paul — 47.92%
• Dr. Carissa Stanton, M.D. — 52.08%

 
00:00:40:34 - 00:01:05:39
Dr. Paul
VAX facts this book hits bookstores December 10th. You can get a copy now by going to VAX Facts book.com, where you can get a signed author's copy, where you can order an e-book, or you can also preorder the book if you are seeing this message before December 10th. You can also order this book at any bookseller, any bookstore, wherever books are sold, and preorder your copy.
 
00:01:05:53 - 00:01:17:28
Dr. Paul
Get this book for your loved ones, for your family, for yourself, and let's get healthy.
 
00:01:17:33 - 00:01:26:48
Unknown
Do. You.
 
00:01:26:53 - 00:01:35:13
Unknown
Know.
 
00:01:35:18 - 00:01:54:07
Dr. Paul
Good morning PhD. Welcome to Pediatric Perspectives where we're taking a look at children's health challenges from a different perspective, one that includes critical thinking and not afraid to give you the honest truth. My guest today is Doctor Carissa Stanton. Welcome, Doctor Stanton, to pediatric Perspectives.
 
00:01:54:12 - 00:02:17:24
Carissa Stanton M.D.
It's such an honor to be here, because I've always looked up to you as somebody who's been a voice for the most vulnerable. And that's why I went into pediatrics. Is because I wanted to make an impact on, you know, the most vulnerable population for the rest of their life. So it's it's it's easier to help a child be healthy than fix a sick adult, right?
 
00:02:17:29 - 00:02:20:51
Dr. Paul
Or even a sick child. You're absolutely right for sure.
 
00:02:20:52 - 00:02:22:42
Carissa Stanton M.D.
That's why we're doing what we're doing.
 
00:02:22:47 - 00:02:42:57
Dr. Paul
Yeah, you are the kind of pediatrician I wish I had found for my kids back in the day. I went to the traditional, you know, those traditional pediatricians where, we might get into that. Anyway, you are a holistic pediatrician, which is a there's a small group of us, right. And we get there in different ways. And I'll have you share your journey.
 
00:02:42:57 - 00:02:54:03
Dr. Paul
But you do a lot more than just pediatrics. You are a wellness coach, a speaker and author. I love your book, which we're going to get into. You have a practice mindful pediatrics. I think it's Kansas City right?
 
00:02:54:08 - 00:02:54:48
Carissa Stanton M.D.
Correct. Yep.
 
00:02:54:59 - 00:03:17:48
Dr. Paul
You have an Empowered mother online community which we might touch on that. You are a wellness coach. You have a content creation business. Your website for that is Carissa Stanton md.com. Yeah. Three adult daughters. Good for you. Daughters seem to survive the onslaught of chemicals better than my sons. For example, you have a five acre homestead. That's my dream.
 
00:03:17:48 - 00:03:39:32
Dr. Paul
When I grow up to be able to do something like that. There in Kansas with your husband, dogs, chickens. And you do yoga, you cook, you garden. My goodness, you have a full life. Which, maybe you'll get into. Tell us a little bit about your journey into providing holistic care and how you got to where you are, maybe compared to where you started walking into medical school?
 
00:03:39:37 - 00:04:00:50
Carissa Stanton M.D.
Yeah. You know, I haven't always you when you describe it, it's like, this is my life is finally aligned. And I'm so grateful for that, for everything that you listed off that I'm doing right now. But you're right, it hasn't always been like that. It was a journey. I had to unlearn a lot of what was programed in me.
 
00:04:00:55 - 00:04:14:00
Carissa Stanton M.D.
And, and that started, you know, in, residency. I have a nutrition degree for undergrad. And then in residency, I did a, integrative medicine rotation with doctor while, you know, I said.
 
00:04:14:05 - 00:04:20:21
Dr. Paul
Wow. Yeah, I had a good choice. At least I had thought of doing that when I was in residency. Yeah.
 
00:04:20:21 - 00:04:41:39
Carissa Stanton M.D.
Talk about a light bulb. Right. So, that started opening my eyes to, you know, we're taught disease medication and, you know, all these things in medical school. So I started to, you know, opened my eyes to that. And then, you know, I practice 15 years in private practice, and I try to institute as much as I could a holistic.
 
00:04:41:39 - 00:05:05:20
Carissa Stanton M.D.
But, you know, the system is really, you know, stacked up against you. Yeah. So it wasn't until I got to Shirley in March of 2020. So five years ago, I took the leap and opened my own direct primary care practice and where I work for my patients. So my patients pay me. I don't work for insurance. I don't work for pharmaceutical.
 
00:05:05:25 - 00:05:11:08
Carissa Stanton M.D.
And I tell you what, it was like taking the red pill in the matrix.
 
00:05:11:12 - 00:05:14:20
Carissa Stanton M.D.
It's like, yeah, you've been there.
 
00:05:14:25 - 00:05:40:26
Dr. Paul
Yeah. Well, you know, maybe you can for our viewers because I think a lot of people I know when I had my, my private practice, that was using insurance, which was most of my career, we really were bound by insurance guidelines. I mean, they had the right, based on the contract signed to come in, look over your medical records, see how well you're vaccinating as an example, looking at quality measures.
 
00:05:40:26 - 00:06:10:32
Dr. Paul
And so we were sort of forced to practice in a very non holistic way, if you will. And so the more we learned about a better way to do this, the more difficult it became to stay in that system. So viewers, if you're wondering how do you find a doctor like Doctor Kristen Stanton? You're probably not going to find doctors like her or like myself, in the insurance model, right?
 
00:06:10:36 - 00:06:34:40
Carissa Stanton M.D.
Yeah. Unfortunately, in America, you know, America doesn't pay for my kind of care. And you work when you're a doctor taking insurance. You work for the insurance companies and their metrics, and you work for pharmaceutical. And when I stepped out and I was like, oh, I get to do whatever I want now I actually do what's best for the patient.
 
00:06:34:40 - 00:07:03:12
Carissa Stanton M.D.
And and then I started realizing, whoa, I was doing so much to meet those quality metrics. And unbeknownst, you know, without even thinking. And when I started being able to have actual conversations with families, have time to actually listen to them, to, you know, follow patients with direct access. So that way I don't have to prescribe. I didn't realize I was doing so much less.
 
00:07:03:17 - 00:07:12:01
Carissa Stanton M.D.
I will say I do very little as a doctor nowadays, which is good. That's the point. Yeah, well, we make our patients healthy.
 
00:07:12:15 - 00:07:35:15
Dr. Paul
So you've been doing this for five years, right about. And I'm curious, what's the biggest difference between how you were practicing before and what you're doing now? And what are you seeing? Are you seeing a difference in health outcomes because you now have babies who are 4 or 5 years old? Yeah. Compared to what you had, you know, 5 to 10 years ago.
 
00:07:35:20 - 00:08:06:00
Carissa Stanton M.D.
Yeah. I will say I prescribe very little medication. Very little. I even let my DEA license go because, in before in clinic, I mean, the amount of ADHD medication I was prescribing, even when I was trying to do holistic things like, you know, and I don't anymore because I'm able to get to the root cause I'm able this is where, modern medicine, I think fails people.
 
00:08:06:05 - 00:08:27:01
Carissa Stanton M.D.
Modern medicine is really good for acute things, right? You break your arm, you put on a cast. It doesn't matter why you broke your arm. You put on a cast with with chronic things. The why matters, right? Why are they not pay attention? Are they sleep deprived or are they in fight or flight nervous system? Are they not getting the nutrients they need?
 
00:08:27:01 - 00:08:45:23
Carissa Stanton M.D.
So I, I love being able to be truly holistic, meaning let's really look at everything and yeah. And the medical system, you know, it, it wants to make people sick because they make more money that that makes better customers.
 
00:08:45:28 - 00:09:02:20
Dr. Paul
Yeah. And, you know, I used to deny that when I was in the system, I said, oh, no, you know, we're doing the best we can. And yeah, you're you're so right. And when I got my data comparing the unvaccinated, the vaccinated and actually the vaccinated were just vaccine friendly plan, they weren't even fully vaccinated. The data was shocking.
 
00:09:02:20 - 00:09:07:30
Dr. Paul
How healthy unvaccinated kids were. Are you seeing the same thing?
 
00:09:07:35 - 00:09:34:44
Carissa Stanton M.D.
Yeah, and I see it with not just vaccines but all medical interventions, right? I mean, from birth on from I mean, you know, a baby's born and think about how many things we do to them when they're born in a hospital. I mean, less intervention we can do from the very start. I find the healthier they are, the less chronic things, the less you know, the more regulated they are.
 
00:09:34:44 - 00:10:17:11
Carissa Stanton M.D.
And, I, I really just, I there's a place for modern medicine for sure. But for, well, typical people that are taking care of themselves. Well, you know, let's let nature I'm always a proponent of let nature try to take its course. And I love being able to my my moms can text me directly. And so that way we can really push the envelope of like, ear pain, like, okay, let's do all these herbal remedies first and do all this stuff first before we, you know, jump to antibiotics and, so it it really helps me push the envelope of letting nature take care of itself.
 
00:10:17:16 - 00:10:41:40
Dr. Paul
Yeah. That is really special. How many of you watching who have a regular doctor have a text message relationship? I mean, that's like, it's that's beautiful. I know that I have clients and, and, I do some coaching now that when you provide people your cell phone and say, you know, obviously try not to wake me up in the middle of the night if it's not an emergency, but you can get a hold of me whenever you need to.
 
00:10:41:45 - 00:11:00:41
Dr. Paul
It creates community, which is one of the things you talk about in your book. Before we get to the book, though, walk me through say I'm a new mom, new dad, new parents. We're coming into your your practice. What does it look like? Just just a little feel because I know at the traditional pediatric well-child visit looks like.
 
00:11:00:46 - 00:11:18:25
Dr. Paul
And, you know, by the two month, four months, six months, that is, it's all about trying to get them to vaccinate. And yes, we look at developmental milestones and do a little preventative talking, but we don't address some of the things that I imagine you address. So just, share a little bit, pretend I'm a I'm a new parent.
 
00:11:18:30 - 00:11:20:26
Dr. Paul
Coming into your practice.
 
00:11:20:30 - 00:11:45:44
Carissa Stanton M.D.
Yeah, well, we already touched on it. The best thing that I do for families is give them access to me. Moms and parents nowadays are there having to be everything the dietician, the, you know, do research on medical interventions. They're have to they're having to do it all clean living expert. Right. So the best thing I do for my families is relieve them that burden that hey, look, I've done the research.
 
00:11:45:55 - 00:12:14:51
Carissa Stanton M.D.
I can give you information to help you make an informed decision and unbiased information. That's important, right? Yeah. Unbiased information. So that relieves a huge burden from them. The second thing, my I don't I don't follow checkups or our. Well, I come wellness visits. We have a full one hour where I go into, you know not only the normal staff development exam vitals.
 
00:12:14:56 - 00:12:39:17
Carissa Stanton M.D.
But how's mom and dad doing? Are they stressed? Because that's going to affect the the child. What's their living like? Are they exposed to chemicals in their living environment? Mom and dad, do you have questions about medical interventions? Can we talk about that? And what makes sense for your child? Right. Informed consent. I mean, what informed consent?
 
00:12:39:17 - 00:13:01:57
Carissa Stanton M.D.
What's the benefit? What's the risk? And then you make the decision. So it's it's what? It's what it should be. The the worst part is, just as families are getting shunned, I feel like you and I are considered kind of rogue. But this is this is what I was taught in first year medical school. But do show your relationship.
 
00:13:02:02 - 00:13:15:48
Carissa Stanton M.D.
Put your patient first, their needs first before yours, and you take money from insurance companies. You're not. You're not in a fiduciary relationship anymore with your patients, right? You're in a fiduciary relationship with the insurance company.
 
00:13:16:00 - 00:13:38:23
Dr. Paul
I want to jump into your book. I just love this book. Motherhood makeover. The first section is about forces that are working against today's moms. Or you could against today's parents. I, I have a son, actually. I have two sons who have recent children who are under age two, and it's extremely stressful. And they're still in the in the regular system.
 
00:13:38:36 - 00:13:48:38
Dr. Paul
What are the forces that are working against moms just to sort of I think by by saying out loud, people will know that we understand.
 
00:13:48:42 - 00:14:16:33
Carissa Stanton M.D.
Validation is huge. Validation is everything. Like even for you and I, that's why your books and what you're doing is so important to me, especially when I was first starting, because I was like, you know, I doubted myself. I'm I and I'm not a, you know, I'm an intelligent person. I graduated first in my medical school class. I did all these great things, but I started to doubt my is right because no one else is doing this.
 
00:14:16:38 - 00:14:41:54
Carissa Stanton M.D.
And I'm sure parents feel the same way, right? Like no one else is doing it this way. Everyone else is doing it another way. Am I the wrong person? I tell my families all the time though, if if mainstream is doing it and you're doing the opposite, that's probably like probably the better way because, you know, typically mainstream and I'm being very general but typically mainstream.
 
00:14:41:59 - 00:15:06:20
Carissa Stanton M.D.
Follow the money, right? You have to follow the money when it comes to, to mainstream media and mainstream things. You know, and I was tired of seeing parents. I mean, you've seen it. They're the, the rate of anxiety, the rate of, you know, un peacefulness. The surgeon General last year put out a warning about the amount of stress that families are under.
 
00:15:06:24 - 00:15:28:49
Carissa Stanton M.D.
It's because we're working against society. They're having to work against the food industry. You know, everyone's trying to take advantage of their child pharmaceutical industry, the food industry. You know, the school systems, like everyone is trying to get their piece. And and parents are on the front line trying to defend their children. So not only does that take more energy, right?
 
00:15:28:51 - 00:15:53:38
Carissa Stanton M.D.
When you're going against mainstream, that takes a lot of energy. Like what you and I do takes a lot of energy. But also this there's no support system because we're not mainstream, so there's not as many people around us to support us. So it's a double whammy. It's it's a recipe for burnout for families when you're working harder, but you don't have the support that you need.
 
00:15:53:43 - 00:16:23:26
Carissa Stanton M.D.
So my book is about mothers can it doesn't have to be that way. They're in control of their life. They can create their own support system. And that's why I started my online community. They can, you know, create their own counter culture bubble in their home. They can, you know, find validation where they need it. So it it's about empowering because, you know, society's trying to take our power from us.
 
00:16:23:30 - 00:16:25:44
Carissa Stanton M.D.
They're trying to make us compliant.
 
00:16:25:49 - 00:16:48:12
Dr. Paul
Yeah. So you talk about in your book, you talk about self-sacrifice, that you know, how moms are stressed out and they're trying to meet all these needs. And you really stress in this book taking care of yourself. You know, for moms, you need to put yourself make yourself a priority. Do you have examples of ways that moms can do that?
 
00:16:48:17 - 00:17:12:03
Carissa Stanton M.D.
For sure. In the first is just realizing that taking care of yourself is taking care of your child. When I started coaching moms, by patients moms, and they started taking care of themselves, I found profound impacts on my patients. I had a kid who had a facial motor tic that we couldn't do anything about. And then I treated mom's anxiety.
 
00:17:12:08 - 00:17:36:39
Carissa Stanton M.D.
Guess what? The kid's facial tic went away. So all this time, she was doing all these things, you know, spinning your wheels, trying to do all these things for her son to treat. You know, that that symptom and all she needed to do is take care of herself. It is not a coincidence that 1 in 5 mothers have a mental health condition, and 1 in 5 children makes each other.
 
00:17:36:44 - 00:17:50:17
Carissa Stanton M.D.
Our children are not born with anxiety or depression or ADHD. They are mirroring the adults around them. So the key to helping our children is helping those adults.
 
00:17:50:21 - 00:18:12:24
Dr. Paul
Yeah. And I think we forget that as parents that, I mean, I've had the same experience in my coaching since I've retired. I do some coaching, and when you have a highly anxious mom, it's almost a given that those little ones, even as young as 1 or 2, are very anxious. So that's a very important example.
 
00:18:12:24 - 00:18:33:14
Dr. Paul
But what specific things can a mom do? Oh, yes. Let's say I'm a I'm an anxious mom or dad. But I don't know how to deal with it. I'm stressed out, got all these responsibilities. What can I actually do other than obviously I would encourage people to come and coach with you and join your network, which, by the way, how do people do that?
 
00:18:33:19 - 00:18:48:16
Carissa Stanton M.D.
Yeah, just go to Chris and Stanton, imdb.com and all my services, my membership, everything's on there. Even, how to purchase my book on Amazon. I'm trying to extend my reach. I saw a need and trying to fill it just like you do. Yeah.
 
00:18:48:21 - 00:18:51:09
Dr. Paul
So we can do that remotely.
 
00:18:51:13 - 00:18:53:31
Carissa Stanton M.D.
Yeah. So it's all virtual.
 
00:18:53:36 - 00:19:12:43
Dr. Paul
Okay. Perfect. But just to give, give me a little tease. What things should I do. Because I'm stressed out. I don't really know where to begin. I'm overwhelmed. You know the kids needs are taking up most of my day and then and I've got the husband who expects dinner. I mean, he helps out some, but he's gone a lot working.
 
00:19:12:48 - 00:19:14:31
Dr. Paul
I don't know where to start.
 
00:19:14:36 - 00:19:40:15
Carissa Stanton M.D.
Yeah, a couple of things. The most important is letting go of trait clarity, letting go of whatever expectation does not help your family. Like not everything has to be perfect, right? Letting go of people pleasing like doing things you know, just to please others. I feel I, I know aren't we all, I don't like all of it.
 
00:19:40:15 - 00:19:44:58
Dr. Paul
Oh, that's. But I've done it my whole life, and I'm in my 60s.
 
00:19:45:03 - 00:19:45:43
Carissa Stanton M.D.
Yeah.
 
00:19:45:48 - 00:19:47:34
Dr. Paul
That's if I'm playing. Yeah, at all.
 
00:19:47:36 - 00:20:12:14
Carissa Stanton M.D.
But the, the, the root cause is society has taught us that our worth is based on what other people think of us and our productivity. So it's it's back to that, you know, that programing that we've been programed in that hustle culture, like you're only worthy if you're doing something productive. And so we have to shift our mindset.
 
00:20:12:14 - 00:20:48:18
Carissa Stanton M.D.
And how we do that is start allowing ourselves to allow rest to say no and then it snowballs. Once you start doing that, you realize how good it feels. I mean, just like in your addiction book, you know, once you start and you start feeling how good you feel, it just keeps snowballing. When you're taking care of yourself, the biggest thing I if I had one advice for families, it is to resist the fear that's trying to be instilled in us, to get us to comply with society.
 
00:20:48:23 - 00:21:17:06
Carissa Stanton M.D.
Regulating our nervous system, chronic stress is is, like you said, the mom that's chronically stressed. Our house is the worst thing for families because when you're in fight or flight, you're not in rest and digest. You're not functional. Your body's not in homeostasis. So we have to find ways to resist the fear. You know, make our house like our cave, like cavemen used to go in our cave and decompress.
 
00:21:17:11 - 00:21:43:57
Carissa Stanton M.D.
They either run from the predator, like, be high stress, or they go in their cave and be able to totally decompress. We've lost our cave. Our cave now is full of news, trying to, you know, scare us. Our cave is now full of, you know, pressure from all of these things. We have to learn how to block that external things out, to allow ourselves to be at peace, find that peace.
 
00:21:44:02 - 00:22:08:50
Dr. Paul
Yeah, I, I found, very early on in the Covid era. I just ended up turning off the TV. I used to be a news watcher, and then I realized absolutely everything that was coming out of the mouths of these people was the opposite of the truth. I'm thinking, why am I even bothering to watch this nonsense? And when you turn it off, or take a walk in the forest and the stress is not there, so it's it's it's propaganda.
 
00:22:08:50 - 00:22:35:34
Dr. Paul
Artificial. They're trying to get us stressed, fearful. And so we comply. So I couldn't agree more. You probably played the game when you were a kid. Let's see. We called it kick the can. I don't know if you ever played so. So one person. Let's see you. But you've got a can there. One person is at it, maybe at a tree, and they count to 50, and everybody goes and hides and and then the goal of everybody else is to kick that can and and make it to the tree or something like that.
 
00:22:35:34 - 00:22:56:02
Dr. Paul
Right. And when they get to the tree, they go safe. If they can get to the tree before that other person tags them, they're out. Yeah. And your cave analogy made me think of that. Our homes are caves. Need to be safe parents. It's up to us and they're not safe. If we're sitting there watching propaganda and fear.
 
00:22:56:02 - 00:23:05:49
Dr. Paul
Fear stuff on on the TV. What do you think about screens in general? Because kids are spending a lot of time on screens way too early. What do you think about that as a stressor?
 
00:23:05:54 - 00:23:31:59
Carissa Stanton M.D.
Yeah, well, I tell families, do as much as you can, you know, no one's perfect. We still live in this world, right? Like, I still sometimes eat artificial colors or whatever when you're, you know, at a football game or whatever, like, you can't be perfect. But do as best you can without stressing yourself out because stress is counterproductive.
 
00:23:32:03 - 00:23:55:42
Carissa Stanton M.D.
And so definitely the younger kids, you know, avoiding it. But don't you know, I had a mom who wasn't letting her kid go to, any house to play because she was worried the TV would be on. You know, don't make things so. Don't want to say so evil, but that your kid can't be a kid, and it stresses you out even more because that's counterproductive in itself.
 
00:23:55:42 - 00:24:25:33
Carissa Stanton M.D.
So it's finding that balance of making things the best you can. But then not over, you know, over complicating or over stressing it out. Because that perfectionism, that, oh my gosh, these things are evil and our child can never be exposed to them. And there's some of those things. Right? But most of the time, I mean, if a kid eats one thing with artificial color and then it's not going to cause type two diabetes for his whole life.
 
00:24:25:38 - 00:24:46:36
Carissa Stanton M.D.
So it's it's we have to I think we become so marginalized, like, all or nothing. We have to allow our families to be in the middle, because when we stress them out, trying to get them to be perfect, that ends up being counterproductive and doesn't help anyone. So. So yeah, screens are not the best thing for kids, right?
 
00:24:46:36 - 00:24:55:55
Carissa Stanton M.D.
I'd rather than be outside and be doing free play, right? Yeah. But you can't you can't control everything they do, so just find that balance.
 
00:24:56:00 - 00:25:18:34
Dr. Paul
That's a good point. I love how you bring up the topic of resilience. So we have so many kids. I mean, parenting the helicopter parenting we have, you know, people pleasing parenting. We we want our kids to be happy. You make a point about that. Maybe you can elaborate a little bit.
 
00:25:18:39 - 00:25:44:12
Carissa Stanton M.D.
Yeah. So that's I mean, there's so many things working against parents, but, one of the things is our American culture is is very child focused. Right? Like, you guys do all these things for your child and, you know, they can't miss out on opportunities. So you have to sign them up for all of these events. And, you know, they then the parents end up doing twice the work to pay for those events.
 
00:25:44:12 - 00:26:04:44
Carissa Stanton M.D.
And those activities take them there and then the parents are having to do the chores for them. So, it's it puts a lot of pressure on adults and it might not be the best for kids. I mean, more is not better, no matter what our society wants to tell us. Our society keeps telling us more and more.
 
00:26:04:46 - 00:26:34:10
Carissa Stanton M.D.
More. And we've learned especially like with medical interventions, more our bodies might not be better with more. And so when we are doing everything for our kids, they're not going to be as resilient when they grow up. But if we, you know, start allowing them to have free play and climb a tree without worried worrying about them, we've got to, you know, let them have that freedom.
 
00:26:34:15 - 00:27:06:29
Carissa Stanton M.D.
And it takes some pressure off of us, right. Because we're not constantly stressed about things. So yeah, I think it's really important. I call it FOMO parenting. I think a lot of families are in that for their fear of missing out. Instead of reclaiming, I call it reclaiming my book subtitle is Reclaiming and Authentic Motherhood because I think motherhood in childhood has kind of been taking away from us by forces that want to make money from us.
 
00:27:06:33 - 00:27:27:56
Carissa Stanton M.D.
Including like, you know, extracurricular activities and sports for kids. I'm all about extracurriculars, but I think it's gone a little too far. And, And we're stealing, you know, our child's childhood from them. So we need to reclaim that, allow our children to be free, and that makes them more resilient.
 
00:27:28:00 - 00:27:49:24
Dr. Paul
Yeah. I like how you wrote about and involve your children instead of doing for them. And and also, you mentioned that kids need to be uncomfortable. You know, they need discomfort and challenges because that's what helps them build resilience. And I remember I didn't do it right. I I too often I would just solve the problem for them.
 
00:27:49:29 - 00:28:04:42
Dr. Paul
And I should have paid attention to how my dad raised me, which was like, I, I needed help with spelling. And he said, well, get the dictionary. I was so mad at him. Oh my gosh, dad, just tell me. I don't know where to find it in the dictionary. Oh, he was hardcore. So yeah, let them work through it.
 
00:28:04:42 - 00:28:07:15
Dr. Paul
Right. That's that's, good advice.
 
00:28:07:17 - 00:28:20:36
Carissa Stanton M.D.
And we, we have to be comfortable with them being uncomfortable. Right? It's usually, you know, they need to be able to feel uncomfortable. That's exactly right. To work things through things and be resilient.
 
00:28:20:41 - 00:28:39:48
Dr. Paul
Yeah. Yeah. You have a great story. Maybe you can share it. Because there's this this switch that we need to make as parents from survival mode to calm mode. And I loved your example of your daughter was in Africa. I grew up in Africa. So of course I would love this story. But that's right, the rhinoceros story.
 
00:28:39:53 - 00:28:42:45
Dr. Paul
Maybe. Can you remember the story?
 
00:28:42:50 - 00:29:14:12
Carissa Stanton M.D.
Oh, yeah. For sure. You know, I am. When I opened my own practice, I not only had a professional like awakening, but also a personal awakening. And one of that was, you know, I'd been parenting based on what everyone else was trying to tell me instead of, you know, what feels right for me. And based on my intuition and, you know, not being triggered by things that society tells me I'm supposed to be triggering by and and fear and those kind of things.
 
00:29:14:12 - 00:29:37:04
Carissa Stanton M.D.
I was basically parenting from fear. And how I knew I was regulated was my daughter had studied abroad in Africa and sent me a selfie with a rhinoceros. She was doing a, walking safari. And in the old me would have been like, oh my gosh, you know, are you safe? Is that guy watching you is blah blah blah.
 
00:29:37:04 - 00:30:04:58
Carissa Stanton M.D.
But the new me was like, take a deep breath, okay, I'm going to enjoy this moment with her and share it with her. And she reinforce that everything was safe. But, yeah, I think a lot of parents are are parenting from that state of being triggered. And it's not only, you know, we're missing out on a, enjoying parenthood, but it's causing a lot of anxiety in our children.
 
00:30:04:58 - 00:30:17:31
Carissa Stanton M.D.
And so we need to find a way to, you know, align our parenthood and really resist, you know, what's what's out there triggering us.
 
00:30:17:36 - 00:30:47:42
Dr. Paul
Yeah. And I, I really liked that example. You were able to enjoy that conversation around the rhinoceros and realized that actually, she was taking care of herself. But yeah, my first I've been in the wild with the rhinoceros, and I was not comfortable. So you mentioned something I was going to bring up, and that's intuition. So as a medical student resident, and then a busy pediatrician in the grind, I lost touch with my intuition.
 
00:30:47:47 - 00:30:55:53
Dr. Paul
And in fact, for a while there, if you had asked me what it was, I wouldn't have been able to even tell you. So what is intuition and how do we access it?
 
00:30:56:07 - 00:31:21:53
Carissa Stanton M.D.
I think about it a little scientific. So, you know, we have our cognitive part of our brain, which is very good at rationalizing, taking in facts, making choices based on benefit risk ratio. And then we have our subconscious that is more molded by our values, our experiences. You know what? Who we want to be. And and those two can kind of fight a little bit sometimes.
 
00:31:21:53 - 00:31:46:15
Carissa Stanton M.D.
But here's what I tell families, you know, take both of those sides for sure. I mean, you don't want to just do random things without, you know, cognitively thinking about it. But the problem is we're living way too much in our cognitive brain like. And that can be very fearful. Again, coming back to that whole fear factor. And so what we need to do is cut out the noise.
 
00:31:46:15 - 00:32:17:53
Carissa Stanton M.D.
Another thing that that separates us and puts us into that cognitive brain is, you know, outside information, that reinforce that really dictates our cognitive brain. And so we need to kind of tune that out and start really, you know, saying, okay, what does my values say? What does my experience say. Because when we go against our intuition, it it causes a lot of uneasiness, un peace with ourselves.
 
00:32:17:57 - 00:32:38:49
Carissa Stanton M.D.
You know, I, I know so many parents that went against their intuition. And then something bad happened, and there's so much guilt and shame. And I tell people, if you go with your intuition and it still ends up wrong, at least you don't have, you know, at least you went with your intuition and not with other people's influences.
 
00:32:38:54 - 00:32:55:24
Carissa Stanton M.D.
So it just makes life more peaceful because you know, there is no right or wrong a lot of times. And so if we go at least what our values and our true, our true self wants to do, then at least we're at peace with that.
 
00:32:55:29 - 00:33:25:10
Dr. Paul
Yeah, I, I sort of came to understand intuition is that inner knowingness. And boy moms have that, you know, you have a mom who's pregnant or has a new baby. They've got this intuition, that inner knowingness that passed down through the generations, of just maybe it's, you call it that gut feeling. So, yes, if if you're being asked to do something that doesn't feel just right with your your intuition and your gut feeling, you probably shouldn't do it.
 
00:33:25:15 - 00:33:26:27
Dr. Paul
And then. Yeah.
 
00:33:26:32 - 00:33:56:48
Carissa Stanton M.D.
And I always tell families too, it's like, you know, animals in the wild raised kids somehow. Yeah. How all of these books and all of these things, you know, somehow. And how do they do that instinct, their intuition and and we're told so many times to, to not follow that, like, oh, co-sleeping is bad or just let the baby cry it out, like, you know, all these things that, that, go against their maternal, you know, instinct.
 
00:33:56:48 - 00:34:08:17
Carissa Stanton M.D.
And. Yeah, what I tell families all the time is don't, don't do something just because somebody else tells you to, like, make sure it's what you want to do for sure.
 
00:34:08:21 - 00:34:31:57
Dr. Paul
I think a lot of parents today are so overwhelmed that they don't even know where to begin. And you talk about, you know, list out your top five values, you know, to guide you. And I'd be going, well, I don't even know what values I have. Can you help a really stressed out parent and give some examples of some values that might be worth thinking about?
 
00:34:32:02 - 00:34:59:06
Carissa Stanton M.D.
Yeah, and that's the hardest part, is that so many of us have been so programed and we don't even know what what our values are. There's such lack of clarity. And I tried really hard in my book to give, families examples of, yeah, like things they can act tangible things they can do. So what I tell families, so you know how you feel when you're triggered, right?
 
00:34:59:11 - 00:35:28:54
Carissa Stanton M.D.
You're like in fight or flight and you're stressed. Now think about things that make you feel at peace. I call those glimmers right. Those things that regulate you, that calm you, sunlight, butterflies. You know, those tangible things. Then think about things in your life that you do that are also glimmers. For me it is simplifying like simpler is better.
 
00:35:28:54 - 00:35:56:51
Carissa Stanton M.D.
I don't I don't like to buy things unless I really need to. That's very triggering for me. But like for me simplifying, getting back to, you know, our ancestral ways, like, I don't know, little things. Like this morning I went and I needed an egg for breakfast. I went in my chicken coop, grabbed an egg. Those aligned. So one of my, you know, deep values is reconnecting with, you know, those simpler ways.
 
00:35:56:56 - 00:36:25:10
Carissa Stanton M.D.
So find you know what? What makes you feel at peace, you know, and on the opposite, what makes you feel trigger? What what makes you feel really, you know, you know, stimulated. And that's probably the opposite of a value. So you have what you have to do to do this. So this is the hardest part is slow down.
 
00:36:25:15 - 00:36:26:53
Carissa Stanton M.D.
Slow down.
 
00:36:26:57 - 00:36:45:19
Dr. Paul
What's so interesting is I'm in very early retirement, like probably next week I'll, I'll make my first stab at kind of retiring. I'm I've always been such a doer, you know, a human doing instead of human being. So this book even applies to me. It's like. It's like a perfect book for me. And I'm an old guy, but for parents.
 
00:36:45:19 - 00:36:58:39
Dr. Paul
Wow. Thank you. Chris, this is amazing. You've shared so much wisdom here. What would you like your parting thoughts for our audience to be? And then end with how people can get in touch with you again.
 
00:36:58:44 - 00:37:27:39
Carissa Stanton M.D.
Really? The first step, if you want to know, like the first step that I did, and it was March of 2020, what did we all were forced to do? Slow down and and it really got me thinking, like, I, you know, I was working in a clinic seeing 25 patients a day. I was, you know, living in suburbia with my neighbor right next door and going to the grocery store five times a week to buy stuff that we really didn't need, you know?
 
00:37:27:44 - 00:37:52:20
Carissa Stanton M.D.
So once we're forced to slow down, we can really start feeling okay. Does this feel right to me? Does that feel right to me? What do I really want? What's hindering? What's keeping me from what I want? Really having that slowing down to get that clarity and then acting on it like we we bought five acres, we we sold our house.
 
00:37:52:20 - 00:38:12:52
Carissa Stanton M.D.
I started my practice. And it doesn't have to be those big leaps for sure. It can be small shifts like, you know, small shifts, like, okay, we're going to start eating family dinners every night and we're going to cancel any activities that sign in our way, you know? So it doesn't have to be big things, but but start now.
 
00:38:12:57 - 00:38:21:25
Carissa Stanton M.D.
Find what's making you not at peace. And start moving closer your life to what does make you at peace.
 
00:38:21:30 - 00:38:34:44
Dr. Paul
Beautiful. And you do make a really good emphasis in the book about community. So, maybe just make a final point about the importance of that, and then also share how people can become a part of your community.
 
00:38:34:53 - 00:39:01:35
Carissa Stanton M.D.
Once again, it takes a lot of energy to to swim upstream, right? And if you're swimming upstream alone, it feels very isolating. It feels you feel invalidated and you're unsure your confidence wavers. Am I doing this right? So really building that village around you, that support system to be like, no, you are doing this right? I say in my book to society, it's going to take a long time for society to change, right?
 
00:39:01:40 - 00:39:24:12
Carissa Stanton M.D.
And take a long time. So we have to come together and lift each other up to deliberate at the grassroots right. Society is not going to change until we force it to you. So and the only way we do that, we're stronger together. And so I actually, I started, just started this online community recently. So the members are starting to build.
 
00:39:24:12 - 00:39:55:20
Carissa Stanton M.D.
But I'm super excited about moms. It's uncensored, so we don't have to say code words for things. We can actually have honest conversations about things. I can give my insight to things which I. My primary practice has actually been waitlisted for about four and a half years. Wow. Which is a telling of the need. And so there's so many moms out there that, aren't able to go to a medical provider because of their medical choices, right?
 
00:39:55:27 - 00:40:17:13
Carissa Stanton M.D.
Yeah. And they're having to be the doctor and all those things. So if I can help them a little bit, empower them to be doctor mom on their own. That's that's one thing I do with it, but it's. Yeah, we're all we all need to put our energy together and our talents and whatever. In this movement for sure.
 
00:40:17:18 - 00:40:23:57
Dr. Paul
Wow. Well, thank you, Doctor Stanton. So, folks, you can go to Carissa Stanton, md.com and get on her waitlist.
 
00:40:23:57 - 00:40:33:27
Carissa Stanton M.D.
I guess my private practice has a waitlist, Chris. That's why Christmas Day and MDS all virtual is so okay. So extends my reach kind of like you do.
 
00:40:33:32 - 00:40:54:47
Dr. Paul
Okay. Wonderful. Well, get this book and, imagine this is available everywhere. Books are sold. Amazon on Amazon and and also at Teresa Stanton md.com. Thank you so much for being on pediatric Perspectives. We'll have you back someday because I just realized talking to you, we could we could cover a lot of topics.
 
00:40:54:51 - 00:40:58:41
Carissa Stanton M.D.
Oh, I would love that. Thank you for having me, Doctor Pollard. All you do.
 
00:40:58:45 - 00:41:18:54
Dr. Paul
You're very welcome. Well, folks, my new book, VAX Facts, is available at VAX Facts Bbc.com and everywhere books are sold. And I also do some coaching. Most of my coaching is actually on the vaccine topic. That's my wheelhouse. So many parents are struggling with decisions of do we do some? Do we do none. Sometimes they're not on the same page.
 
00:41:18:59 - 00:41:37:58
Dr. Paul
Oh, there's a measles outbreak. What do I do now? I'm going to travel. What do I do now? These are all things I cover in detail and will help you be at ease with your decisions. And generally, almost always, I'm able to help parents who aren't on the same page start to see eye to eye on the direction they'd like to go so that you can find that kids first forever.com.
 
00:41:38:12 - 00:41:57:53
Dr. Paul
Thanks for being with me if you got this far. God bless you. Have a great week. We'll see you next show.
 
00:41:57:57 - 00:41:59:35
Dr. Paul
All right okay.
 
00:41:59:40 - 00:42:08:16
Speaker 3
I could really come. To the park. But do you want to come to sit down? Sure. I know who you are, but for everybody else, it's kind of a pinball.
 
00:42:08:25 - 00:42:23:29
Speaker 4
I'm sure. My name is Sonny Polito and the mom of three gorgeous boys. And my oldest is 18, Christopher. And then I have twins, Lincoln Campbell, that are 11, and it's Lincoln Campbell that both have progressive autism.
 
00:42:23:34 - 00:42:27:37
Speaker 3
So how tell us how they were tell us the story so well.
 
00:42:27:37 - 00:42:52:27
Speaker 4
So they were born perfectly healthy. They were carried to term. They were six four and 610. So a lot of baby they were big and healthy and and doing beautifully at birth. We had no Nikki time. We had no, just no complications. The whole first year I would say was really uneventful. I mean, besides, we were raising these twins, but physically and from a health standpoint, completely uneventful.
 
00:42:52:27 - 00:43:17:14
Speaker 4
There was maybe a sniffle or a cough, but we never had even an antibiotic. We had nothing. The first year they met all their milestones. They developed beautifully every visit. It was, you know, perfect boys, beautiful boys, everything's great. And we were just clicking away the milestones and cruising along. They did get chicken pox when they were about ten months old, and they both got it.
 
00:43:17:14 - 00:43:40:13
Speaker 4
And we stayed quarantined and they weathered it and bounced back. And we were fine. They didn't ever get sick until about 13 months, and we had had our 12 month, well, baby visit. We went a little bit late and, within a couple of weeks of that visit, they just blew up, you know, in a GI sort of way.
 
00:43:40:18 - 00:43:41:47
Speaker 3
What happened to the visit?
 
00:43:41:52 - 00:43:48:37
Speaker 4
Well, at the visit, they received all of the vaccines. They were supposed to get that time minus Guevara cell up because they had had chicken pox.
 
00:43:48:37 - 00:43:49:57
Speaker 3
And you know what? This vaccine.
 
00:43:50:02 - 00:44:08:34
Speaker 4
Well, I know the MMR was definitely one of them. I think maybe Hib prevnar. I can't remember for sure. There were a bunch, but but definitely the, the MMR was given then. And, and it wasn't obviously until much later that I would learn that there was I didn't even know that the immune system was in your gut.
 
00:44:08:34 - 00:44:35:51
Speaker 4
Like I was a very, very uninformed mama. I trusted the doctors. I was a rule follower. I didn't question anything, I questioned nothing. And so we just showed up and and did what we were told. And, shortly after that visit, they both started having just horrific, horrific GI issues. We were changing upwards of 12 to 15 diapers a day for each of them.
 
00:44:35:56 - 00:44:59:43
Speaker 4
And because it happened at the same time, and our pediatrician was telling us it was a, stomach virus of some sort, we were like, okay, that makes sense. Except it wouldn't go away. And every time we came back in, it was just more pediasure. And we came in because they developed these horrible, rashes because their diapers were so acidic and they had this horrible, horrible rashes.
 
00:44:59:43 - 00:45:17:49
Speaker 4
And then Campbell, my son who's, who's more severely affected today, ended up with that same rash on his face. And it was like, hot to the touch. And it was cakey and yeasty and a bright red. And it was just, you know, more Aquaphor and more Aquaphor. And so I just kept doing what they were telling me to do.
 
00:45:17:54 - 00:45:20:47
Speaker 3
And how are they today? What what is well, so what do we know?
 
00:45:20:54 - 00:45:44:56
Speaker 4
So today they're actually doing much better by 18 months because I didn't know that we were having a vaccine reaction. We continued vaccinating. And by our 18 month appointment, we were referred to social services first, for special services with the state, not social services, but to the state for special services. And we were then a special needs family.
 
00:45:45:03 - 00:46:12:25
Speaker 4
So between 13 and 18 months, we went from perfectly healthy kids meeting all their milestones and doing beautifully to being severely developmentally delayed. We had no eye contact, we had no speech. We had lost fine and gross motor skills. We had severe central nervous system damage. Just all this stuff. And, and then it would take another year or so before they would both be diagnosed with autism.
 
00:46:12:30 - 00:46:13:20
Speaker 3
How old are they today?
 
00:46:13:20 - 00:46:14:14
Speaker 4
Today they're 11.
 
00:46:14:25 - 00:46:15:52
Speaker 3
And, do they speak?
 
00:46:15:57 - 00:46:37:30
Speaker 4
And they are both verbal. Luke is is fully verbal. He's very, very communicative. He's he's got, at this point, very high functioning autism. Campbell has words. He has a lot of language. He mostly scrubs. But he's he's definitely making progress and communicating more and more.
 
00:46:37:35 - 00:46:41:24
Speaker 3
Well, I'm really we're all really sorry that happened to your beautiful voice.
 
00:46:41:25 - 00:46:42:05
Speaker 4
Thank you.
 
00:46:42:14 - 00:46:44:48
Speaker 3
And, we love their names on the bus with you.
 
00:46:44:56 - 00:46:49:21
Speaker 4
Thank you. I would be delighted to put things on the bus. Thank you guys for having the bus.
 
00:46:49:26 - 00:46:54:57
Speaker 3
Well, thank you. And the rest of your story is. Well, I know it's hard. Yeah.
 
00:46:55:02 - 00:47:28:34
Unknown
So we have twins now.
 
00:47:28:39 - 00:47:30:08
Dr. Paul
I look forward to running
 
00:47:30:15 - 00:47:54:33
Dr. Paul
together with the wind at our backs, revealing the science that gives clarity in our world that's full of propaganda and misinformation. Visit our website Doctors in Science Rt.com. Sign up, donate if you can. Your support makes a difference. And let's make this the weekly show the world has been waiting for. Thanks for watching.
 
00:47:54:39 - 00:47:55:26
Dr. Paul
I'm Dr. Paul.